The P-Town Snarker

Back From Travels

2006-12-05T12:55:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm still alive. Yes, I know no one cares.

I've been traveling a LOT lately. And I hate it. Which is why this story struck me as interesting. I always wondered what it would take to get upgraded to first class...and now that I know, I think I'll stick with business class seat, thanks.

Back Crack

2006-08-04T12:12:00.000-05:00

I knew Chiropractors are into holistic and alternative healthcare, but I think this local Peoria doc took it a step too far.

The guys was on crack -- and I don't mean the sounds your neck makes when he gets his hands on you.

Says the PJStar article (written by Elain Hopkins):

An employee in McCarthy's office stated he told her that he was using crack cocaine and threatened to kill her and her family if she reported him.
A patient stated McCarthy left acupuncture needles in his back for hours and admitted to using drugs. Another patient stated a back treatment injured him and left him with pain for a month.
An agency investigator, Steve Wagy, stated that in a July 6 interview, McCarthy was thin, "dirty and unshaven," and said he was living in a hotel to get away from "gangsters."

I would think having hypos stuck in your back and calling it acupuncture might have been the first clue.

Anybody want to admit it going to this guy?

According to Methodist Medical Center's Web site, he's still taking new patients. Now that's good news. I've been needing a fix.

Time For Gibson To Admit Truth

2006-08-27T13:28:00.000-05:00

Rob Reiner wants Mel Gibson to "come clean" about how his anti-semetic views were reflected in Gibson's movie, "The Passion of the Christ." I say, why stop there?

If you've seen the movie, you know Gibson also portrayed Roman's as vicious killers, as torturers of innocents...basically as bastards with whips and swords and nails.

Obviously, Gibson is anti-Italian as well as antisemitic.

And let's face it, Gibson's work in "Braveheart" clearly portrayed the English in less than pleasant ways. The man is evidentally ant-anglo, as well.

Jerk.

Polly's Telling Dirty Lies

2006-07-31T17:13:00.000-05:00

Polly Peoria, once one of my favorite bloggers, is telling a whopper.

She's says this pic is of her trying to bury her ex-boss in the mud at a charity fundraiser. The problem is, as one anonymous poster pointed out, this picture is easily found on other sites. All you have to do is look at the name of the photo (barro.jpg, by the way) and search for it on Google Images. Turns out this is really a shot of a couple of nasty looking Spanish putas. (Incidentally, I wonder how many hits I'll get for the words "mud wrestling" and "putas".)

The problem is Polly called anon a liar. She stuck by her guns.

Frankly, she's full of crap. Here's the actual shots (nsf). You be the judge. This very shot she used is the one captioned 250 veces vista.

Polly, what happened? You disappeared for ages and then you start ripping photos and passing them off as yourself. First you're anon. Then you're not. Now, you're trying for anon again? Come on already. Are you really some guy named Larry or what?

UPDATE: As of this morning (8/2), Polly has removed the mud wrestling post from her Blog. Hmmm.

Polly's Crushed Me

2006-07-31T17:48:00.000-05:00

Oh, the humanity.

Our dearest Polly seems to have self-expression issues.

Not only is she projecting herself to be a mud-wrestling puta (see previous post), but her infamous bubblebath shot is stolen, too. I found it here. Here's her shot. Again, you be the judge.

(Sigh)

It gets worse campers. The shot that she swore again and again that was her...is itself a rip-off.

That's right, the image to your right comes from here.

So here's the truth as I see it: Polly could be a guy for all we know.

Put up or shut-up Paulina. There's no one by the name you gave on the Peoria Pundit in the phone book. Your pics are a fraud. Stay anon and be proud of it. Or come out, already. Just quit pretending to come out of the proverbial blogging closet if you're really not going to.

(I say she's Sandberg.)

Public Salute To The Morning Tent Pole

2006-07-25T09:14:00.000-05:00

Ahhh, you gotta love the view of Peoria as you crest the hill on I-74 West in East Peoria. What an impression. Well, at least it would have been last night if I hadn't been laughing so hard at an idiotic billboard.

Right before the crest, some mattress company put up a billboard showing a very attractive, nude female form (from behind...and without a behind) lying on a mattress. The headline?

"Still Waking Up Stiff?"

Is this an ad for a mattress or for Viagra?

Where's Bob Dole?

Obviously, this one was not written by a man.

And speaking of that part of town...how desperate is the developer of the big glass monstrosity of a building that's now parked on the hill on the way up Fondulac Drive? They are advertising everywhere! Ugly ads, I might ad.

Still, I hope like heck the guy succeeds. What a horrible spot for a near-empty building.

The School of Hard Knocks

2006-07-24T14:00:00.000-05:00

While reading about the controversy surrounding the Israeli kids that wrote pen pal notes on bombs meant for Lebanon (brings new meaning to a graffiti tag, doesn't it?), I ran across this ad:

I'm guessing the coursework would include popular Israeli-English vernacular...which would include learning valuable phrases like:

Excuse me, where could I find a bomb shelter?
Is that an AK-47 in your robe or are you just happy to see me?
Please take my bus seat. Those bombs look heavy.
It's a bird...it's a plane...no, it's another friggin Leb rocket!
Say, baby, you're lookin' might fine in those cammos.
Does my policy have a suicide bomber clause?
Are your legs tired, cuz you been running through my Kibbutz all day?
Your mamma wears combat boots.

Any others?

Incidentally, I'm totally behind Israel in this one...my esteemed Congressman (this guy) notwithstanding.

Fun with the Fellowship

2006-07-12T17:01:00.000-05:00

I know, I know...don't post other people's stuff.

But I loved this!

Just click on the image...

Where Governors Holiday

2006-07-01T18:03:00.000-05:00

Note to former New Jersey Governor, Jim McGreevey:

When the truck stops get old (and I can't imagine that taking very long), try a road trip to Kentucky...home to one of my favorite place names, Big Bone Lick State Park.

Think of it as a bath house, au naturale. Where you can stretch your legs, smell the fresh air and squeel like an unrepenatent pig to your little lungs give out. It's Blue Grass meets Blue Boy, Deliverance meets Delivery Driver, Porta John meets Elton John, Coal Miner's Daughter meets...well, coal miner.

Hee Haw, Governor! Be careful, though...that blue grass'll stain your knees fur shure.

Alive & Clicking

2006-07-01T17:49:00.000-05:00

I'm still around.

I've just been too busy to blog.

And speaking of too busy...where 'o where is Polly?

Sigh. If only we all had time to sit around and blog all day...

(Incidentally, I don't think I have it in me to call him Billy.)

Sometimes God Says Yes & No

2006-06-01T07:53:00.000-05:00

This from AP...

Clara Jean Brown was worried. She was at home on Memorial Day, but she knew her family was still at the beach when a bad storm kicked up in their small Alabama town. From the dry safety of her kitchen, Clara began to pray. She prayed for the safety of her family. And she prayed that her grandkids (and could anyone named Clara be anything but a grandma?) would be able to get back home without incident.

Just a she said, "Amen," Clara was pounded to the floor by a tremendous blast of pressure and flame. It was a lightening strike -- from across the street! -- that traveled through the water pipes and blasted through Clara's home.

The good news? Clara's family was safe and sound, after all.

(Clara came through fine, too.)

Sick

2006-05-26T10:51:00.000-05:00

Peoria Housing Authority: The Real Issue

2006-05-25T09:11:00.000-05:00

I'm not proud to admit it. But there have been times in my adult life when my wife and I chose to visit a cash advance store. Not to gamble or buy drugs or pay for new anythings. Usually, just to make ends meet during a cash-flow crisis.

Why do I feel a stigma? Because I was stupid enough to chose a lender that charged me 50 or 60 cents on the dollar for a quick financial fix. Truth is, I could have sold something. Or I could have borrowed the cash from someone who cares about our family. (Believe it or not, they are out there.) They would have lent us the money in a second -- and probably without asking us to pay it back. Alas, pride was involved. So we sucked it up, signed the papers...and paid for it for some time out of our newly married wazoos. You see, cash advances are like bad credit card deals -- they're deep financial holes that only get deeper the more you try to dig yourself out.

Which brings me to the so-called Peoria Housing Authority (PHA) lending scandal Bill Dennis is raving about.

Says this article by PJStar reporter, Elaine Hopkins:

"Being a first-time buyer, I did not know a whole lot. I trusted them," Alexander said of the PHA.
Alexander said he did not even know he signed documents for two mortgage loans instead of one on his $65,000 home.
He now pays a total of $638 monthly on the two mortgages, an amount that includes taxes and insurance, he said. PHA pays a $63 monthly subsidy toward his mortgages, he said.
At the real estate closing, he was handed many documents and signed them, he said. A PHA employee at the closing never spoke up, he said.

This smells, alright. But what's stinking up the place is the acrid stench of entitlements. (As well as Hopkins overuse of the phrase "he said". But I'll save that for another time.)

To summarize: this guy relied on the government to help him get his home. He then depended on them to read and understand his paperwork for him, and he didn't even take the time to figure out he was getting TWO freaking loans in the process! All of that, and PHA is still paying 10% of the guys monthly payment.

Methinks nobody held a gun to any of these people's heads. They wanted homes badly enough to take on not-so-favorable lending terms -- probably the only kind of loans they could get with poor credit, low incomes, etc. But why didn't they even bother to look through their own paperwork. WHY? Because we've been trained by our society that we do not have to take care of our own affairs. We have the government to do it for us! They feed us, clothe us, insure us, treat our wounds and sicknesses and especially protect us from the big bad corporations that are always trying to exploit us. And when the government doesn't do any of those things? It's Katie bar the door.

Truth is, if you want something badly enough, you pay more for it. I've seen little old ladies cash in their state checks at the river boat. The just HAD to have their nickel slots. These people just HAD to have homes. I just HAD to have instant cash -- and we all damned the consequences. Our choice. Our consequences. But to claim ignorance?

You have to sign an inch-high stack of documents to buy a home, telling you exactly how much you have to pay, when, and what it's really going to cost you in the end.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not advocating the behavior of these businesses. These loans feel like a slimy way to make a buck to me...just like the slots and the cash stores. But making these buyers seem like naifs and victims is ridiculous.

If there is one rule of life in this country, it's Buyer Beware.

But maybe there's a greater problem in this case. The buyer didn't actually realize he was a buyer. Maybe he thought this was another hand-out; that he was receiving another gift (that was his RIGHT!) from yet another social service agency. Maybe he is a victim. Not of predatory lending, though. But rather he is a victim of a government struggling to find itself through the haze of Multiple Personality Disorder -- trying to decide if it is, in fact, based on the tenets of democracy and the free market...or based only on the tenets of a watered-down socialism...as if France is such a success.

I say we keep the system we've got, thanks. But with me ultimately responsible for my own financial decisions..and Mr. Alexander responsible for his.

What's Wrong With Peoria?

2006-05-25T00:33:00.000-05:00

Two things.

It's not the political or business leadership. This town has a lot of smart, dedicated people who are (mostly) working together to make the area better for all. In fact, I'd say things are running pretty smoothly. At least more than in past years.

It's not Dunlap or Morton, either. White flight to the burbs (and I'll say brown-flight, as well) is never a problem for urban areas. But it is a symptom of a problem. And while treating symptoms might feel good in the short term (think scratching poison ivy), in the long term it does nothing to improve the situation, and it usually worsens your overall condition.

Which leads me to problem number one:

District 150 In the last week alone, I've learned of two more families that are leaving our older neighborhoods for the refuges that are (supposedly) Dunlap and Morton -- all because of fears about the state of District 150. Not only is the situation in our schools unfavorable...their very efforts to improve are perceived as horrible for the city because of the district inability to properly and effectively communicate what in the crap is going on inside their heads. They need to work harder and smarter to communicate with their neighbors, with councilpeople, with teachers, students and their families, with the unions, with the press...with everyone! Surely good things are happening, right? Who knows? Not us. Therefore, the families will keep fleeing, the schools will keep emptying, and the bloggers will keep typing.
Crime, Crime, Crime. Maybe it's because I watched American Idol tonight, but I can clearly hear Randy saying, "Yo, dog! It's getting hot out there!" And he would be right...if he's talking about the streets of central and south Peoria. Scary even.

We have so many wonderful and amazing things going for us as a community. It's a freaking shame these are the issues on our hearts and minds, though. Or at least on mine.

I'm depressed now.

I'm going to bed.

By the way...where are you, Polly?

Search Engine Success!!!

2006-05-22T13:34:00.000-05:00

Wow. I'm humbled.

I just discovered this blog is #1 on Google when searching for the phrase: "wet willy with cume."

I'm guessing the person that performed that search earlier today did NOT, in fact, find what they were hoping to find on this site.

My hope, dear reader, is you will have better luck.

I'll Hold The Nails...

2006-05-22T13:19:00.000-05:00

I guess Madonna feels her conversion to Kabbalah isn't working as hard as she would like to keep her face in the news.

So she's on tour now, posing her ridiculous self on a cross made of glass.

Says this article:

"...she donned a crown of thorns and suspended herself from a giant mirrored cross to deliver the ballad 'Live to Tell.' Video screens showed images of third-world poverty and reeled off grim statistics.

"...another video montage juxtaposed images of Bush, members of his administration and British Prime Minister Tony Blair with footage of Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden, and Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe. Midway through the new song 'I Love New York,' she deviated from the script and made a crude reference to Bush and oral sex."

That Madonna. She's once, twice, three times a lady, alright.

Clever use of the cross, too. Way to capitalize on someone else's believe system. Methinks it's a shame it's not the real thing. Nothing says shut up and mind your own religion like a couple of nine-inch spikes through the wrists.

If only Kabbalah had a few universally recognizable symbols to exploit.

Tri-County Planning Commission

2006-05-19T15:58:00.000-05:00

Have you ever looked at these yahoo's website?

They have three miss-spelled words in their navigation alone.

In fact, I didn't find many pages without at least one error.

Now, I'm no stickler for such things. Honest, I'm not. But if you're a governmental organization (even a quasi-governmental organization), shouldn't your website -- your most important communications vehicle -- at least be good enough to earn a "C" in any eighth-grade English class?

I'm all for what you guys are doing. Just hoping you might make us all look a little more...well, literate in the process.

The Saga of Little Howie

2006-05-19T12:47:00.000-05:00

My legs are crossed. I'm grimacing. I may never be the same again.

Bobbitt and Buttafuoco, it would seem, had it easy compared to this guy.

Remember

2006-05-19T07:04:00.000-05:00

Remember the bumper stickers after 9/11.

"We won't forget."

In spite of all those promises, I think maybe we have. The emotions. The anger, fear and sorrow, all mingled together in a of national cocktail of rage.

I'll be honest, I forgot those feelings. It's just part of life...the moving on...the healing. But the memories of that day are memories we should keep fresh and alive. We have to remember.

The link below helps. And I sincerely hope it's been done as well as the preview appears.

Please take a moment and remember.

Delusions Are A Beautiful Thing

2006-05-15T11:05:00.000-05:00

When I was in college, I took a philosophy class that was, by and large, absolutely worthless. One of the concepts we discussed, though, sticks with me today: would you rather be a pig (read: ignorant) and be satisfied in the muck of your life -- or would you rather be a Socrates (read: informed and cognizant) and be dissatisfied because you know all that is possible in life...yet most of which you will never achieve (read: 60 gig iPOD).

Well, it's a complicated premise and I certainly have no intention of addressing it in this post...except to say this article from Reuters brought the concept to my mind. Here's the headline:
"Laura Bush doesn't believe bad polls"
Me thinks Mrs. Bush possibly has her head in one.

People ARE dissatisfied with the state of the nation -- and they don't have to be a Socrates or a pig to feel that way.

I can't tell you how disappointed I personally am in the way the administration has been handling things. I was a big supporter. And I still want to like the guy. Honest, I do. It just seems he and his advisors have their heads in a hole, as well...but this one ain't in the sand.

Good move on appointing Snow, though. First good move I've seen in a long, long time. Most of the problems seem to stem from lousy communications. People don't understand what in the crud they're thinking on Pennsylvania Avenue these days.

So best of luck to Snow. And best of luck to Laura. She's going to need it to get the sand out of her hair.

Seperated @ Birth: Episode IX

2006-05-12T10:40:00.000-05:00

Peoria EDC Logo

Google Earth Icon

Race Relations In Canada

2006-05-11T13:28:00.000-05:00

All together, now:

"Ebony and Ivory, live together in perfect harmony..."

An Idol Appearance

2006-05-08T13:26:00.000-05:00

Talk about infommercials.

According to Variety magazine,

Shakira's appearance on [American Idol] in late March boosted sales of her latest album "Oral Fixation, Vol. 2" from about 5,000 copies a week to 81,000 copies the week of her performance. The disc's cume is now beyond 834,000 units.

When Queen recently performed, sales of the band's new album "Cold Stone Classics," leapt from 14,000 units the week before the show to 62,000 units a week later.

Think wizened industry pros like Manilow and Stevie Wonder are appearing on the show to offer an encouraging word - or maybe to be a source of inspiration to struggling singers who are trying to make a go of their careers.

Heck no.

They're only there because they're clinging to the music industry's latest lifeline -- TV. The so-called struggling kids of American Idol are helping the veterans sell more than they have in years (decades for some of them).

It's become a very weird media world.

Chuck Norris Facts . com

2006-04-28T08:38:00.000-05:00

This is different site. Weird. Yet oddly funny.

Here are a few examples:

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.
Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

Another Football Moment

2006-04-28T08:18:00.000-05:00

Here's another wonderful moment in the world of college football -- specifically a shot of the Arkansas Razorbacks.

Anyone want to take a stab at a caption?