Separated @ Birth: Episode VIII

I've been wowed recently by this guy's lack of smarts. He makes nada sense, anymore. Anyone else notice? Has he been sniffing too many fumes from the ADM plant in his district or what?

Peoria Councilman, Clyde Gulley, Jr.

Forrest Gump's Buddy, Pvt. B. Buford 'Bubba' Blue

Dreaming Big @ Caterpillar

No wonder they keep winning awards for innovative thinking at Caterpillar. It's the day-dreaming that makes the difference.

Here's an example:

About an hour ago, someone from Caterpillar linked to this site by searching on MSN for, and I'm not making this up,

"women looking for sex in peoria illinois"

My advice? Ask one of these guys. They know just where to look.


(Incidentally, mine the last link of the second page of the search results. On MSN, that is...not the Police site.)

RenPark Attracts Typical Peorian Response

Take a look at the city's website. One word: crap. It makes me embarrassed to live here. They're even using the "it plays in Peoria" cliche we all despise as their headline.

Now take a look at this website. See a difference?

For the first time, maybe ever, Peoria is being marketed well. This is a nice town. There are wonderful resources available. I mean, finally, the city is actually telling our story in a way that isn't embarrassing to everyone who calls Peoria home.

Now here comes the typical response from the typical West Bluff resident: they puke all over it.

It seems to me, as a non-resident of these neighborhoods, that the people in these older areas of the city are vicious to one another. They have fist fights at neighborhood association meetings, they vandalize one another's property (I even heard a rumor of a certain someone setting RenPark commissioner's garage on fire recently. Anyone know the facts?), they pass around ridiculous lies...basically, they scare the heck out of me a lot more than the big bad bogeyman institutions they so readily demonize.

Note: I'm not saying PeoriaIllinoisan is guilty of any of those things. He seems to be a pretty balanced guy compared to a lot of the loons that surround him. But his comments suggest the elitism that's so common among the "cleaned up" neighborhoods of Moss-Bradley, Arbor District and the Uplands.

First they absolutely refuse to have anything to do with med-tech (aka, Renaissance Park, RenPark, Rpark, and -- I actually heard someone say this one -- Rennie Park), they sneer down their noses at the University East-type of neighborhoods, and then they bitch and moan when they're not mentioned in RenPark's marketing materials along with these other, more cooperative neighborhoods.

Again, one word: Waaaah.

Renaissance Park was created to 1) Attract and grow technology companies, and 2) revitalize the neighborhoods of Central Peoria. Does anyone in their right mind qualify The Uplands as an area in need of help from anybody? How about Moss-Bradley? The truth is, these people want nothing to do with RenPark.

PeoriaIllinoisan's attitude is just like Bill Dennis' re: Bradley's NCAA victories. Again, GREAT NEWS for Peoria. So what do these glass-half-empties do? Again, bitch and moan.

Honestly, I love the idea of Renaissance Park. I just wouldn't want to move next to any of these people. They have nightmare neighbor written all over them. "Your grass clippings are on my sidewalk," or "Your tree is blocking the light on my porch," or "Tell your kids to be quite and stay out of my side of your yard." You get the idea.

These people can deride Morton and Dunlap all they want, but you never read about stuff like this happening in either of those areas.

"All You Need Is Leb"

I misquoted Lennon. But so what. John or Vladimir, they both had the same message.

What I'm talking about in this post, however, is the dominance of Peoria's Lebanese community -- some 10,000 strong. And hats off to them, by the way.

Think about the movers and shakers in this town: the Maloofs, LaHoods, Alwans, Kouris (and Couris), Shadids, Demanes, etc. This is a big part of our town. They have lots of sway and lots of say. But they're also a pretty insider-only community.

Have you seen signs or references to the ITOO Society? Here's a nice article about them. But the point is, these folks are more exclusive in their relationships than the Augusta Country Club. Take this quote from longtime member, Maureen Couri :

"We'’re still a tightly knit group because of family ties, but we now have a diversity of members," Couri said. "“Spouses of members are warmly welcomed."”

Wow. Even their wives can come? Welcome to the 1960s, guys.

So, basically some of our city's most powerful leaders and business people are members of a quasi-secret society into which outsiders are not welcome. Do they have grand plans? Are they the masonic order of our day, Peoria's own ethnic Illuminati? Will we all be eating spiced lamb in 10-20 years? (Actually, I'd be okay with that last part. Haddad's rocks.).

Inquiring minds and all that.

Best/Worse Name Ever

No kidding.

The dazzling, stringy-haired beauty you see above, Mr. Pusey, is a linebacker for Eastern Illinois University...the fighting Panthers (another cat name, incidentally).

Since the release of this media guide, he has changed his name (I assume under duress) to Lucious Seymore...making him a Pusey poser, if you will.

Shame he isn't a tight end.

A Note From The Mayor

Just received an e-mail from the mayor (along with half of Peoria). Here are a couple of key points:

"We'll be conducting the annual City Manager Evaluation after our regular meeting on March 14. This is a very important function of the council to evaluate the Manager and give him feedback on his performance and policy direction for the year.

"The Council will host a strategic planning session, open to the public, on Saturday April 8th from 9am-1pm in the conference room at Workforce Development. (will the average citizen know what/where "Workforce Development"?) [sic] This planning will set the early framework for our '07 budget discussions which will be re-tooled and set in motion much earlier this year."

I particularly love the typo. Notice the 2nd paragraph. At least they proofread it once.

And how would you like to be Randy Oliver. Nothing like the whole world knowing your employee review is coming up, heh? And his review is capitalized like it's The Festival of Lights...or the Thanksgiving Parade. Wonder if there will be cotton candy.

And good news on starting the budgeting process earlier. Stretch a painful process out as long as possible, I say. Scheduled a root canal? Ask the doc to use a butter knife. Same concept.

C'mon, Show Your Civic Pride!

Thanks to Bill Dennis at The Peoria Pundit for the linkage.

Which got me thinking...

Not only could posting the pics of wet t-shirt offenders (I know, I know...it's not a law) be helpful to the community in terms of curbing such offensive behavior, but it might also serve as an excellent revenue stream for the city with a little, how shall we say, appropriately placed commercial messaging.

Think about it, Mr. Mayor. Have your people call mine. We'll do lunch.

Willie York...A Blogger?

Well, not quite.

But the homeless Peoria landmark does have a website of his own...and a fan club!

Who knew.

The only question that remains: is Willie a basic services kind of guy or is he an economic progressive? He hangs out in Clyde Gulley's district, so maybe Clyde knows...

Wet T-Shirts Rub Peoria Wrong

File this under the Biggest Tip In History:

Tuesday night, the Peoria City Council voted to slip a cool $163,000 into a local bar owner's g-string -- all because the city took a stance against them having wet t-shirt contests.

For close to $200 Gs, you'd think the mayor would at least get a happy ending.

Personally, I think the police department should post pictures of these brazen offenders (see right) on their website. I know I would not be able to resist visiting on a frequent basis just to take part in publically shaming such evil doers.

We're Not So Smart

We don't know as much as we think we do.

For instance, when someone tells you they KNOW Peoria's toxic dump is well maintained...I think, Great! But for how long? The stuff they're putting in that hole keeps it's ickiness for a whole lot years. Lots and lots and lots of years. I'm guessing PDC will not be the only company managing that site in the decades to come.

Someone might also tell you the liners and technology they use will last forever. Again, I say Great! And to think, I didn't know we were able to test products that long. It's like pharmaceutical testing. Sure, side effects are limited...but what's it do to you over the course of fifty years? Who knows? They only tested it for 24 months. Same thing here. There is ZERO long-term assurance.

And speaking of ZEROs...we have a zero margin for error with that dump. We're just one human mistake...one system or technology fault...one liner failure away from a catastrophic problem within our city limits. And the worse part is, we wouldn't even know about it. At least until the leukemia count starts to rise.

Sure. That may be a bit sensationalistic on my part. But then again, maybe it's not. We just don't know absolutely, positively for sure either way...and those are odds I don't feel like playing. My kids and grandkids and great-grandkids are worth more to me than an educated guess.

Sexual predators aren't allowed near large populations of children. Toxic dumps shouldn't be allowed near large populations of anything. Allowing either to happen is little less than a crime.

Separated @ Birth: Episode VII

First of all, I've got nothing against the guy. He seems to be well respected around town, and that counts a lot with me. But if you read Bill Dennis or Willy Nilly, the guy's the Antichrist. Soooo, in the "everyone's fair game" category, I bring you:

Congressman Ray LaHood

Muppet Patriot Sam The Eagle